Don’t be a Man: Do the right thing

I was teaching opposites in class today, and one student gave an example of table and chair. I explained to her that they were not opposites, but rather, different types of the same category. A few minutes later, I showed them a flashcard: boy x girl, ‘Boy’ being the opposite of ‘girl’. There was something misleading about that card, but not wanting to digress back then, I went on with the lesson.

I’m going to digress now.

Is boy really the opposite of girl, or like a table and chair, are they just two types within the broader category called humans? They are different, yes, but does that make them opposites?

Logically, I can’t be both a boy and a girl at the same time. But what does it really mean to be a boy or a girl? If we’re talking in terms of sex organs, then yes (exceptions are there). But we’re also talking about living beings, displaying characteristics and personalities. Are these also opposite?

Society seems to be arguing yes.

Tony Porter in his TED Talk brought out this point really well.

“I asked a boy, how would you feel if in front of all the players, your coach told you that you play like a girl.

I expected him to say something like I’ll be sad I’ll be mad I’ll be angry or something. No. The boy said to me: it would destroy me.

And I said to myself – if it would destroy him to be called a girl, what are we then teaching him about girls?”

Seriously.

What are we teaching boys? What are we teaching men?

That to be a real man, you have to be the opposite of a girl?

That you have to choose cars and G.I. Joes over dolls?

That as a man, you have to keep your emotions in check?

That tears are for girls, not humans?

That being a girl is beneath our dignity?

How have we managed to convince an entire half of our population that their ability to ‘be a man’ depends on their ability to ‘not be a girl’?

Watch this video. The ending in particular rings a bell, because it reminds me of a stand-up comedy show that I’ve laughed at numerous times. Russell Peters made several phrases infamous, and one of them is “Be a man. Do the right thing.”

Unfortunately, Porter shows that these two don’t often work synonymously. It often becomes a choice:

Be a man. OR. Do the right thing.

Good luck with that.