When Death Knocks A Little Closer

In the last few months, India experienced the worst wave of covid. Almost every other person got infected; and almost everyone knew someone who didn’t make it out.

I was part of the luckier few. Although many of my close family and friends got covid, all of them managed to come out of it. So even though I was aware of the really high number of fatalities happening all around, in a way, they remained largely in the form of high statistics.

Until this morning, when I received a message on a whatsapp group, informing that an ex colleague of mine passed away from covid.

Initially, I was in disbelief. This was a large whatsapp community; surely the message was not about the person I had worked with. It must be someone else. But a few frantic messages and calls later, I realized that it was, in fact, him.

Not just a distant statistic. But someone I knew. Someone who in the brief period that our lives had crossed paths, had left his mark through happy, calm memories. Someone who I hadn’t been in touch with lately, but always smiled when I saw a Facebook post from. Someone who was one of the genuinely nicest people I had ever come across.

And suddenly, as of this morning, he is no more.

We’re in the second half of June, and this second covid wave is well into its receding phase. States are starting to come back to normal life. The worst of the pandemic (at least for now) was supposed to be over. Everyone who had made it, was supposed to have made it.

But hearing about his death is a jarring reminder that we’re not out of it. That at no point can we take what we have for granted. This virus doesn’t care who you are, or how nice a person you were. It doesn’t care how many people’s lives are affected by your loss. Every friend and family member who survived this virus might just as easily not have. Like he didn’t.

A part of me knows this isn't about me. The loss I'm feeling is probably not even a fraction of what his family must be going through. But maybe there's something about death that makes you recall details that life lets fade away.

I can still picture him, smiling that kind smile of his that made you feel like everything was okay. Those tired eyes, humbling me and reminding me not to take life for granted, and to cherish every moment while we can.

Because we never know when it will be gone. 

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I hope wherever you are, you’re free from all pain.