The Ahmedabad Diaries - You Look Like a Lakshmi

Disclaimer: This post might be offensive. Actually, it probably is. But it's hard to rip the band-aid without feeling any pain. 

A friend of mine once told me that I’m the least judgmental person he ever knew. And I believed him. Why? Because I didn’t hate Pakistanis. Or Muslims. Because I liked to listen to both / all sides of the story before deciding who was right. Because I apparently had bucket-loads of this substance called empathy which allowed me to involuntarily see things from other people’s perspective, making it a little hard to judge them afterwards.

Three days ago, I realized I was as judgmental as the founder of the KKK. Maybe not in my actions, but in my thoughts, I could give those white-wearing-racist-bastards some serious competition.

Why? Because I met a girl named Lakshmi. And when she told me her name, a thought entered my mind from some place I didn’t even know existed, which said to me: “Ahh. That’s right. She looks like a Lakshmi.”

She looks like a Lakshmi?!?! What does that even mean?!

At first I tried to placate myself by thinking that she probably reminded me of another girl called Lakshmi that I have met before. Yet as I racked my brain, I couldn’t think of ever having met anyone personally with that name before. So it’s not like I could draw similarities to the features. And if I have never met anyone called Lakshmi, how do I know what she is supposed to look like? Hear that? I said ‘supposed’ – like there’s a type.

You know, like Ahmed is Muslim. Ram is Hindu. Tom is white (because, clearly, he cannot be any other colour). Kapoor is a big-shot. Chhotu is the helper. Natasha is the beautiful fair one. Lakshmi is the dark nerdy one.

Where did these labels come from? When did I become the authority on people’s names? True, some names do reflect a person’s religion / ethnicity, but I had no idea that we could use names to identify someone’s social status or fairness-of-the-skin data.

I want to blame the media. When was the last time a Bollywood movie had a leading actress named "Lakshmi" who represented glamour? “Om Prakash Makhija” may have been a perfectly suitable name until Shah Rukh Khan destroyed it in his film. When was the last time we came across a “Natasha” from the village or a slum?

But blaming is the easy part. Accepting the reality of the situation is harder.

I’ve written dozens of essays and had countless discussions on how stereotypes are the bane of this world, and for some reason, I felt that my ability to come to this conclusion prevented me from falling in its trap. 

Apparently not.

It seems that prejudice is embedded within our bones, at least mine, and it creeps up at strangest of times. It may not be intentional, but it’s still there. And there’s no excuse for it.

I thought I hated it when others judged me. It’s even worse to realize that I reciprocate the feeling so easily.