Goodbye December

Heads up: this post is rather senti. Ye have been warned.  

Well, the wedding is over. This month of masti and compete madness is over. And all of a sudden, I’m not sure what to do anymore.

For the last one and a half years, the wedding has been the destination that all our plans had been geared towards. The month before, I was juggling assignments and shopping and exams and dance practice. The month before, I had no time to think. I was fed up with the wedding even before it had started, to the point where I threatened my brother to make sure he never gets married again.

And then December came. And with it came Ahmedabad. And Bangalore. And Kuwait. And non-stop crazy fun. A chance to meet up with old family and friends. A chance to spend time with new family and friends. Of running around. Of dancing. Of smiling. Of eating. Of celebrating. And of being chased by camels. It really was a month like no other. I didn’t want it to end. Ever.

But it passed by in a blur. For a month that had been under planning for over a year, these last few days have whizzed by. And the whole time, even though I was enjoying every second of it, I kept having this nagging sinking feeling that it was going to end soon. And it did.

Last night.

G, S and A have left from Kuwait [wait – can I call you three GAS for short?]. And with them, I feel like a big chunk of my family has left. And considering that they live in Canada, I probably won’t be seeing them for a long time now. All I can do is sit here on my bed, feel mopey and write about it.

But the weird thing is, I’m not sure why this is hitting me so hard. I consider myself a master of goodbyes. I’ve said bye to so many people and moved to so many places, that I assumed I was over it all. But thinking back, I think the difference is that all those times, I was the one packing my bags and leaving. This was the first time that I found myself staying in the same place as someone else waved goodbye to me at the airport. This was the first time I had been on the receiving end of the farewell, and not the giving. That’s probably why this was the first time that it actually hit me so hard.

Watching G & S make their way to the security check last night as we stepped to the side, I think I actually got a little choked up. [Of course, I would rather lock myself in a bird cage than break down in public. Actually, that’s a tough choice. Never mind.] In any case, I could feel all the excitement and memories of this last one month crashing down around me as I realized that this had all just come to an end. I knew this was coming. And I hadn’t wanted this end to come. I’ve never thought of myself as the sentimental type, but in that moment all the Karan Johar emotions were wreaking a big mess through me. That was, until the security sent them back to the check-in counter for over-weight baggage and whatnot, so by the time they took their second walk down the security aisle, I was sleepy and tired and like “go already.”

And they did. So now it’s time for life to go back to normal.

I’ve never been a big fan of normal.

2014, you have big shoes to live up to.