I watched the movie Thappad today. And oh my god, what a brilliant film!
For those of you who might not know about it, it shows the story of a woman who gets slapped by her husband, and as a result files for divorce.
The movie itself is really well made - from the acting, to the dialogues, to every scene. But what I really love is the subject itself. In a country where a large number of women are killed for dowry, raped every night by their husbands, and beaten ferociously at the slightest misstep, a slap seems like...nothing.
And that's exactly what all the characters surrounding the protagonist try to convince her of: that its not such a big deal, that aisa toh hota rehta hai, don't make a big deal out of it, etc. And the response from the woman throughout the film is simple: it's not okay. And that's that. The man could be the most loving, caring, doting, 'husband of the year' material, but hitting is just not okay. Even if it's a 'just a slap'.
As I was discussing the movie with a friend, I realized that the film left me feeling a mixture of happiness and sadness:
It's a powerful idea. I just wish it weren't a revolutionary one.
For those of you who might not know about it, it shows the story of a woman who gets slapped by her husband, and as a result files for divorce.
The movie itself is really well made - from the acting, to the dialogues, to every scene. But what I really love is the subject itself. In a country where a large number of women are killed for dowry, raped every night by their husbands, and beaten ferociously at the slightest misstep, a slap seems like...nothing.
And that's exactly what all the characters surrounding the protagonist try to convince her of: that its not such a big deal, that aisa toh hota rehta hai, don't make a big deal out of it, etc. And the response from the woman throughout the film is simple: it's not okay. And that's that. The man could be the most loving, caring, doting, 'husband of the year' material, but hitting is just not okay. Even if it's a 'just a slap'.
As I was discussing the movie with a friend, I realized that the film left me feeling a mixture of happiness and sadness:
- Happy, that someone made a movie on this topic
- Sad, that the idea of a slap 'not being acceptable' needs so much convincing
- Happy, that maybe, at least a few people out there might walk away questioning their own existing ideas
- Sad, that the majority will probably walk away muttering, 'But it was just one slap!'
It's a powerful idea. I just wish it weren't a revolutionary one.
I actually didn't like the film. I was hoping to go in and watch lots of shades of grey - something that makes people say 'that it was just a slap', that 'it just happened and forgive him', something that makes me empathise with her husband and almost question my stance on a slap. But instead they gave me a film full of badly researched stereotypes. She was full-on Tulsi, the perfect bahu till the end. He was patriarchal, sexist, and frankly an ass even without the slap. At no point did I feel like he didn't deserve her walking out. The men were all either super good (her father) or super horrible (Manav Kaul, Husband, Uncaring father-in-law). The lawyer did not need a horribly sketched storyline, where she only realises the importance of a slap in context to her life. The maid should not be hitting back and dancing (because research shows there's a chance she'll be beaten to death the next day, rather than the husband coming to his senses because she revolted).
ReplyDeleteThere was so much talent in this film, and to me it felt wasted. It was so black & white. A slap should not be okay in any form - black & white, or grey. It's sad that to be able to convince the audience, they had to stick to black & white. I was pretty disappointed, because I expected a lot more.
(Also that annoying monologue about how she doesn't love him anymore. Most domestic abuse victims actually don't stop loving the person committing the crime - I think the respect angle was what should have been harped on more - and they did in the beginning, but then it just disappeared).
Bleh.
I'm glad they're talking about this. I just wish it was better researched, better represented talk.