The Toronto Chapter

Closing Toronto. That was what this trip was supposed to be about.

While I have never regretted my decision to move to India after studying in Canada, every now and then I found myself missing structure in the midst of Indian chaos, missing the snowfall when wading through the monsoons, and missing old friends while trying to make new ones.

So when I decided to visit Canada after a two-year hiatus, it was in part to visit old friends, but largely to wrap up the country once and for all – to assure myself that I had made the right decision by leaving; to find closure; to close Toronto.

And I think I did accomplish that. I realized that some friendships of the past had become just that – friendships of the past. Other relationships that had ended bitterly were given a second chance. And the campus where I spent four years of my life – while still bearing old memories – hardly felt like home without all the familiar faces.

But while I was basking in my closure, life was still moving. I met old friends and acquaintances from different walks of my life, and could feel the beginnings of new friendships. I got a chance to spend time with people who will soon be a part of my family, and to build new relationships. I met friends who have always been there in my past, and will continue to have a solid place in the future. Most importantly, I got to spend three weeks with my brother – something that I now realize I haven’t done in the last 8 years.

This trip was supposed to be about closure. Then again, closure is overrated. At the age of 24, this is hardly the time to be closing chapters in my life (not that I think any particular age is appropriate for that). Nobody said it had to be either or. Beginning life in India doesn’t have to mean ending my time in Canada. I think there might be just enough space for me build relationships in Bangalore and in Canada. With a foot in Kuwait. And another in Dehradun. And of course one in Bombay (let’s ignore the bizarre anatomy for now, shall we?)

I had intended to write that with the end of this trip, I can now officially close the Toronto chapter of my life. But instead, the last few weeks have seen the strengthening of so many bonds, and the creation of so many new ones, that I feel the chapter of Toronto is far from over.

Perhaps – to be continued?