You think you know your kids. She's the smart one. He's the talkative one. He's the shy one. She's the quiet one.
But you forget that the classroom does not define them.
You forget that there are several facets to a personality.
You forget that people have different comfort zones.
You forget that they might be different in their own homes.
**********
Last Friday, I was told to go and spend time with a student in their own home. I decided to go with a girl called Shraddha - quiet, sincere, hard-working. She never disrupted my class, she barely even spoke. It used to be an achievement just to get her to talk.
But the moment she heard I was coming to her house, there was a noticeable shift in her personality. Suddenly, the excitement of the pending visit was all she could think of. As we left school together, I wasn't sure what the next few hours would bring. Would they be awkward, disturbing, or enjoyable? It turned out, all three were true.
Shraddha literally held me by my hand and guided me through the traffic and moving buses (because I told her if she let go of my hand I would get lost - a quite likely situation). As we got off the bus stop and walked towards her house, she said, "Didi I don't have a very big house, but it's also not a very small house. It's in between." Since around me there were a number of the "in-between" size houses, I thought I knew what she meant. But she stopped before a 8x8 tin-roofed and tin-walled house. Inside, one corner was the kitchen, another corner a place to have a bath. The remaining half was the hall. On one side was a television. The walls were packed with trunks and utensils and the usual house-hold items. There was one toilet (aka sundaas) outside which was common for everyone living in the similar houses around them.
In her house lived Shraddha, her parents, and her two siblings. When I first entered, I remember naively wondering if this was just a part of their house, and if they had a separate place where they slept. It seemed inconceivable to think that five people could live in an 8x8 space. And yet, cliched as it sounds, they were the happiest group of people you could think of (at least in front of me).
The lack of space hardly kept her family from treating me as royalty. As they forced me to sit on a chair while they sat around me on the ground, those same feelings of awkwardness and being privileged trickled back. It was at least an hour before I was able to convince them to let me sit down with them.
Shraddha's sister shattered another one of my misconceptions. She lived in that house, with bare minimum resources, yet spoke perfect english and was preparing for MBBS. Until I met her, somehow I always assumed that living in such conditions and going up the professional ladder could not go together. Ever since I came to TFI, I have heard so much about the sense of possibility and heard so many inspirational stories, yet this was one concept that always remained quite abstract. Meeting Gauri (Shraddha's sister) made me realize that it really is possible to speak impeccable english and chase your dreams regardless of your economic background. I realized that until now I had been unfair to my kids, telling them they could be whatever they wanted, yet not completely believing it myself.
I had been unfair to Shraddha too. That always quiet, shy girl transformed in her home-ground and became the most talkative, confident girl I ever met. She cracked jokes, laughed with me, walked with confidence, showed me around, played with me, and made me see a completely new side to her that I had never bothered to notice in class. Perhaps it was the home surrounding that allowed her to open up, but at least now I know how she really is at home, and can now work on bringing out that side of her in the classroom.
And the last lesson from that day....was how much my visit meant to her and her family, and how much I genuinely enjoyed spending time with her outside of school. Thinking back to my own school years, I would have found it so awkward to have a teacher come to my house, but the reaction I got from Shraddha and all the other students was absolutely overwhelming!
But you forget that the classroom does not define them.
You forget that there are several facets to a personality.
You forget that people have different comfort zones.
You forget that they might be different in their own homes.
**********
Last Friday, I was told to go and spend time with a student in their own home. I decided to go with a girl called Shraddha - quiet, sincere, hard-working. She never disrupted my class, she barely even spoke. It used to be an achievement just to get her to talk.
But the moment she heard I was coming to her house, there was a noticeable shift in her personality. Suddenly, the excitement of the pending visit was all she could think of. As we left school together, I wasn't sure what the next few hours would bring. Would they be awkward, disturbing, or enjoyable? It turned out, all three were true.
Shraddha literally held me by my hand and guided me through the traffic and moving buses (because I told her if she let go of my hand I would get lost - a quite likely situation). As we got off the bus stop and walked towards her house, she said, "Didi I don't have a very big house, but it's also not a very small house. It's in between." Since around me there were a number of the "in-between" size houses, I thought I knew what she meant. But she stopped before a 8x8 tin-roofed and tin-walled house. Inside, one corner was the kitchen, another corner a place to have a bath. The remaining half was the hall. On one side was a television. The walls were packed with trunks and utensils and the usual house-hold items. There was one toilet (aka sundaas) outside which was common for everyone living in the similar houses around them.
In her house lived Shraddha, her parents, and her two siblings. When I first entered, I remember naively wondering if this was just a part of their house, and if they had a separate place where they slept. It seemed inconceivable to think that five people could live in an 8x8 space. And yet, cliched as it sounds, they were the happiest group of people you could think of (at least in front of me).
The lack of space hardly kept her family from treating me as royalty. As they forced me to sit on a chair while they sat around me on the ground, those same feelings of awkwardness and being privileged trickled back. It was at least an hour before I was able to convince them to let me sit down with them.
Shraddha's sister shattered another one of my misconceptions. She lived in that house, with bare minimum resources, yet spoke perfect english and was preparing for MBBS. Until I met her, somehow I always assumed that living in such conditions and going up the professional ladder could not go together. Ever since I came to TFI, I have heard so much about the sense of possibility and heard so many inspirational stories, yet this was one concept that always remained quite abstract. Meeting Gauri (Shraddha's sister) made me realize that it really is possible to speak impeccable english and chase your dreams regardless of your economic background. I realized that until now I had been unfair to my kids, telling them they could be whatever they wanted, yet not completely believing it myself.
I had been unfair to Shraddha too. That always quiet, shy girl transformed in her home-ground and became the most talkative, confident girl I ever met. She cracked jokes, laughed with me, walked with confidence, showed me around, played with me, and made me see a completely new side to her that I had never bothered to notice in class. Perhaps it was the home surrounding that allowed her to open up, but at least now I know how she really is at home, and can now work on bringing out that side of her in the classroom.
And the last lesson from that day....was how much my visit meant to her and her family, and how much I genuinely enjoyed spending time with her outside of school. Thinking back to my own school years, I would have found it so awkward to have a teacher come to my house, but the reaction I got from Shraddha and all the other students was absolutely overwhelming!
Once again, 'a brilliant piece of writing'!!! Ruch your writing is so inspiring!!! Impressed and very very proud my friend!!
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