Haircut

For the love of dialogue and conversations...

I think you should get a haircut soon.

What?! I just had one a few days ago.

That was a few months ago!

Yea but, I don’t think I need one as yet.

Look at your hair. It’s almost below your neck.

So?

So, it’s too long. You should cut it.

But why? What’s the problem if it’s too long?

It’s not supposed to be that long.

Her hair is so long!

She’s your sister.

Thanks, I didn’t know.

Don’t take that tone with me…

Sorry mum. But so what if she’s my sister?

I meant, she’s a girl. She’s supposed to have long hair. You’re a boy. You’re supposed to have short hair.

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But why?

Enough with the ‘why’s!

I’m serious. Why can’t boys have long hair?

It doesn’t look good.

Says who?

Says everyone.

But I think it looks good.

Well, it doesn’t.

But if it’s my hair, and I think it looks good when long, isn’t that all that should matter?

If you were stranded alone on an island, then yes.

Huh?

I mean, if you lived entirely alone, it wouldn’t matter. You’re part of a society. And the society’s opinion matters.

You mean the people in our building?

No, I mean society at large. All the people!

All the people as in…all the people?!

Yes.

Including all the people I’ve never met?

I said all the people.

Why do I have to care about the opinions of 6 billion people who I’ve never met about the length of my hair?!

It’s not just about the length of your hair!

Then what is it about?!
It’s just that, the society has some rules. If we want to be part of this society, we need to follow those rules. And the length of hair for boys and girls happens to be one of those rules.

Look, mum, why does the society have rules?

What do you mean?

I mean, rules exist for a reason. What is that?

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Rules are there to ensure that everything functions smoothly, right? To make sure people don’t end up harming each other? We have traffic rules and signals to make sure we don’t have accidents. In the same way, we have rules in society like don’t kill each other or don’t steal from each other to make sure that we don’t harm each other. In a way, the rules tell us to consider other people around us, and not just think about ourselves, right?

Yes…

With me so far?

Yes, that makes sense.

So you agree that people should follow the rules of society to prevent themselves from harming each other, right?

Exactly.

Okay, then who am I harming by growing my hair?

Well……maybe it’s not just about harm. Many rules came up for practical reasons as well.

What do you mean?

Historically, men were supposed to fight or work in the fields and things. It would have made practical sense to keep their hair short. It wasn’t about preventing harm to others, like some of the other rules.

That makes sense.

Thank you.

I mean, it makes sense if I were going to fight. Do you see me prepping for war right now?

I didn’t say that’s the reason for it now!

Then what is the reason for it now?

It’s just a practice that has continued.

Even when the reason is no longer valid?

It’s become a norm now, hasn’t it? That’s how most things around us work. I don’t really see the point in challenging the rules.

By that logic, we’d never challenge any rule. Nothing would ever change.

That’s a little extreme…

Seriously, do you actually believe that we should continue to follow society’s rules just because that’s the way things have always been done? That the rules should never be challenged?

I’m not saying that all the rules of society are great. Some are already harmful, and they need to change. But there needs to be a proper reason to change it.

For example?

Well, take dowry. It’s been a societal practice for many generations, and has led to the abuse and death of so many women. So that seems like a very good reason to challenge this rule and to push for a change.

Yea.

But growing out your hair – what reason is there to do it?

I want to do it.

That’s not a reason.

Of course it is. Being told that I have to keep my hair short makes me unhappy. Growing my hair will make me happy. Why isn’t my happiness a good enough reason to go against a rule?

That’s hardly the same thing.

I’m not saying it is. But at the end of the day, if a rule makes someone unhappy, isn’t that enough of a reason to change it?

Perhaps, if everyone felt that way, then yes. But I don’t see all the other boys in your class trying to grow their hair.

That’s like saying if one woman was abused because of dowry, but others’ weren’t, she shouldn’t push for any change.

The two situations are completely different.

In the extent of happiness and misery, yes. But they are both still about happiness and misery.

Misery is a strong word for a haircut.

Fine, unhappiness. How does that change anything?

Look, you keep talking about change, but it’s not an easy thing. You think the first push to challenge dowry would have been simple? There would have been a lot of resistance, people pushing back, even adding on to the abuse. But that cause was strong enough for people to continue taking a stand against it. Now, if you were to grow out your hair, you’d face a lot of resistance too. Of a different kind, yes, but it would be there. Everyone would make a big deal out of it. The school would not allow it. Your classmates would ridicule you. Is the length of your hair really worth all that?

If I said yes, would I then be justified in growing it?

Really?! You’re telling me that having short hair is making you so miserable that you would rather be a laughing stock or a thing for everyone to point at and comment upon – just to be able to grow it?

No.

Exactly. That’s what I thought.

I’m saying that I see no reason why I should not be allowed to grow MY hair, when it will make me happy, but would bring absolutely no harm to others.

I just told you the reason. Everyone around will make your life that much harder.

That’s a reason for why it would be difficult for me to do so. Not why I shouldn’t do it at all.

I feel like you’re starting a revolution in this house.

It does feel like it, doesn’t it?

A revolution for hair. If only Gandhi could see you right now.

Correction: A revolution for personal choice.

Fine. Do what you want.

Really?

Well, in another few weeks, your school is going to call you up to have this exact same conversation. So we’re really just talking about a few centimeters of hair then. I can live with that.

What makes you think I won’t be able to convince the school?

You know what? You actually might. Now that would be a conversation worth getting a front row seat for.

Thanks mum. I can just picture you sitting there in the parent-teacher meeting with some popcorn, enjoying the show!

Just let me know the date and time!

So we’re good here?

I think so. Wow. I can’t believe we spent all this time arguing about the length of your hair.

My thoughts exactly.